Memento mori

The first interview has been released. I think we can all learn a lot from individuals like Janković. If nothing else, as he says himself, at least how to be better than others. Within a few weeks, everyone seemed replaceable. But decades show who was truly irreplaceable ... I am afraid this will also be true of the current mayor of Ljubljana. Sometimes, I get scared when I think about what my beloved capital will be like years after Zoran Janković no longer sits in city hall and no longer walks the streets of Ljubljana as its "eternal" mayor. The mayor of Maribor says that he sometimes goes for an evening walk through Pobrežje to remember the "transience of life, power, and function." It is similar to the habit of stoic rulers, who kept skulls or hourglasses on their desks. I love cemeteries myself. That's where I find my peace. There, I get the feeling that I can be genuine – without a mask. The dead don't care. Kučan says that one can find beauty even in goodbyes. Often, it is only then that it is found. My therapist often jokes that she does not know any other person who is more focused on mentoring relationships. I am only interested in people who have "seen everything" and walked paths I have not yet walked, people I can admire or learn from. People who had something that my soul was hungry for and did not find food for elsewhere.

I like new things. I think they keep us young. This is actually something that needs to be worked on at my age already. I know a lot of peers who seem dead to me. I do not look at them twice, and yet it makes me shudder... Death lives among us all. Life has taught me that there are many deaths. When I asked someone as a little girl why he wasn't on the front pages of the newspapers, if he was financially stronger than the man who appears there every day, he replied that it wasn't good to be on the front pages. This was how one signs one’s own death sentence. I asked if you would then be beheaded with a guillotine as Marie Antoinette, my heroine of that time. He replied that physical death was only one of the deaths. Many things can die. Your company, your career, your reputation, your pride, your confidence, your future, your soul ... There are many deaths in this world. Dying physically is an inexpensive option. As you can see, if you only pay for something with money, consider yourself fortunate. Mentoring, business, or private relationships are not easy in this world. In some battles, there are no winners, only losers. These are the worst. Sometimes, you have to fight hard to prevent something inside you from dying to stay alive – on all levels, not only in the sense that your blood is still running through your veins. Psychologically, I am alive. That is true success for me. I am often euphoric, but I also often discuss with others that too much euphoria is counterproductive to success.

An acquaintance of mine said to me in good faith: "Certain games are dangerous. Rarely does anyone get out of them alive. I've known women who thought they ruled the world ... One of them is homeless today." When I think I rule the world, I go to the streets of Ljubljana to calm down the naive child in me. I find a homeless woman, toss her a coin, then sometimes jokingly, with a warm smile, aware that people rarely smile at her, ask her to remember me in her prayers in return. Afterward, I wonder whether this might be the woman who thought she had ruled the world long ago, at the height of her beauty and youth. Don't forget that. And do not wish for headlines. Good leaders leave the glory to others ... This grounds me. I go home feeling hale, humble, and happy. I am happy about the fruit on the table, the golden afternoon light in my apartment, and the gilded vases with flowers on the table. I am happy about the fact that I am still alive today – psychologically, too. You never know what's going to happen tomorrow. But then again, nobody knows the future; at least I don't. Janez Škrabec says: "Every company is two years before bankruptcy. You can only try always to keep it that way."